Alex and I have had some pretty important decisions to make this week about his college education and work. Today we had to come to a conclusion and make a decision that would affect the next few years of our life and while we sat their contemplating our options, I wanted to call my dad. I wanted to tell him our options and see what he thought. I think he would agree with our decision but I wanted to confirm my choice with him; not to get his approval but to get my own approval!I know that he would have just the thing to say to make both of us feel that much more at ease about the road we are choosing.
This 'real adult decision' Alex and I discussed today made me feel like a real married couple. A full circle moment. We talked out our choices, made a pro/con list, I told him I would support him in whatever he decided but I also felt comfortable to tell him my opinion. For a moment after we made our choice I think we both felt that, 'I hope we're making the right decision' feeling, but really, I think we did. It was kind of like a moment when your 16 and you're parents say you can't do something and you think (or say), "I'm 16 I can make my own decisions!" Only now, we really can....and now we have 30+ years to back up our decision and yet somehow now that doesn't seem like enough.
I feel my input into the discussion came from what I've learned from my dad. Again, I wanted to call him and ask him....in fact I almost did, I figured this was a big thing, I super value his opinion and I had to make sure we considered all aspects! But I didn't. I told myself that this is one of those times where we will have to use our best judgment. We had to 'let our conscious be our guide' so to speak. So I put my phone away.
I'm sure my parents would be proud and happy to know that we need them so much still. At least I hope they will be...It's true no matter how old you get you still need your parents. You need their love, their support and their wisdom when you sometimes doubt your own. I guess that's one of the most sought after result in parenting, that children be able to make their own decisions, based on what their parents taught them and the morals and values exemplified and instilled by them.
Faith has also been ever so present at this time in our marriage and lives together. Another lesson passed down from our parents and grandparents. God will guide us, He is present in our lives and hears all our prayers. That is all we can do, put our faith in Him and He will guide us.
I can only hope that one day our children will feel the same way we do about our parents. I hope they value our opinion, seek our advice and know that God will guide them.
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| proud parents |
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| proud children |
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
~Robert Fulghum
