In 30 days I will be 30. Unbelievable. Lately I've been getting a little down on myself about not having accomplished MORE by this age. I've been focusing on the things that I don't have, yet, as opposed to thing things I do have. I've been worrying a little too much about what certain people or family thinks I should have by now. And, there some things I thought when I was 20 I would have done or have by now. What I am trying to remember are the things I do have or or HAVE accomplished and also that things change, priorities change (as my little sister reminded me recently)
I also feel like the situation with my back has also "aged" me. It is constantly on my mind and the pain is always there to remind me of my physical limits. I've just kinda realized, if I want to do something bad enough, I will do it but then have to deal with the repercussions of pain. I get down on myself about not being able to work, but then I remind myself to be thankful that Alex has a good job, close by, great benefits and free coffee :) There are so many people without jobs or a warm place to live...so I am very thankful that I do have a warm home it may not be a huge house (like I hoped I'd have) it may not be filled with children, yet. And I may not have pictures covering the walls of all my world travels or fancy cell phone filled with numbers of clients and business partners (which I thought I'd have). I DO have a home that I love, a wonderful husband and family, memories and pictures of the places I have been, an good education and degree and pretty good health.
So I've come to realize that my life isn't going to be on the time line I planned. There will be setbacks and advances. I know that if I just leave my worries and questions to God he will give me answers. Maybe not the next day or week but things will work out, they always do. I have only lived 29 years, SO many years yet to enjoy, right? I shouldn't see those things I haven't done yet as just something that past me by, no, they just haven't been done yet! I have another 30 years to get to Italy, its been there for thousands of years I'm sure she can wait another thirty years! Probably even less! I am going to enjoy my time in an apartment, maintenance is only a call away!
I am going to live it up these next 30 days!30 is the new 20! I want to go do things, just ENJOY life! I am going to try hard NOT to worry about anything and I will look FORWARD to my birthday!
1 comment:
Somedays I feel the same way! I'm almost thirty and oh what I would give to have a nice husband :) Be grateful and happy, as you are, with the life you have because it is yours- and yours alone to make it wonderful! :)I love you kindred! Cheers to the 25 years we have experienced together, and I cannot wait for another 30 + years of being friends! Always remember- we are too blessed to be stressed! xoxo
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