Goodie Bags and Back Rubs

Thirteen years ago today my grandpa (Pop) past away. I remember that day very clearly. The sadness, silence and awkwardness of the day and days to come, because, to me at seventeen I felt like, 'we'll now what?' I knew things would never be the same. I just never thought Pop would die! I guess I was kind of in shock.
I still find it hard to believe it has been so long since then and how many things that Pop has not been here for, physically. Holidays, birthdays, graduations, our weddings and the birth of his first great-grandson. I know that he definitely was there and is with all of us every day in spirit. Even in tough times or when I am alone and worrying I feel like his strong hand is right there on my shoulder like I felt every birthday or after every accomplishment.It gives me comfort in knowing that he know everything we've gone through. He has been watching over us. I have had a few dreams where he is there and it's like nothing ever happened and I am the only one who knows he died. One in particular stands out, it's Christmas Eve at my grandma's like it used to be and Pop's there in his chair and I was overwhelmed with joy to see him there! I am just full of questions for him, "what's heaven like?" being at the top of the list. He never says a word though and not much sooner, he gets up and walks to his bedroom. No one says goodbye, or asks where he is going. He wasn't sad or happy, just there. I was so upset in my dream that I missed my chance to talk to him again. I don't know what that dream meant but I am always happy when he is my dream and I get to see him.
Recently we were watching old home movies of us when we were growing up and Pop was in a few of them, and hearing his voice makes me get a lump in my throat. He's right there on TV!!! I just want to pull him out...I know my Papa wishes he could too. 
Pop wasn't just your average "grandpa". A man you would see at holidays and send school pictures to. He was like another Papa. He built me my beloved playhouse, with my name on it! You just knew how much he loved you! Every visit to his house you would always leave with a "goodie bag" just a lunch sack with random candies, sliced sugared oranges are remembered most...He never seemed to sleep! When we spent the night he was awake when we fell asleep and he was awake making oatmeal in the morning! He could make or fix anything. I am so lucky to have all of these memories of him.
As I get older I wish I would have asked him more questions about his life and about his time in WWII. Time goes so fast and I think, I only got seventeen years with him, seventeen years is so short! I wish he was still here, but I know he is with me in spirit always and is very proud of all of us. Love you Pop!