We're Having A Baby, My Baby and Me!

I cannot describe how excited I am! Alex and I found out we were expecting June 29th, I wrapped up the pregnancy test in long jewelry box and gave it Alex on his break at work. He was ecstatic and surely wore a huge smile all day. A loooong three and a half weeks later we had our first ultrasound along with blood tests and paperwork. I was so nervous at the first appointment, my blood pressure was unusually high and I was shaking. When the little bean came up on the monitor and we heard the whoosh whoosh of the heartbeat (169 bpm) I was put at ease and began to cry. It was so small yet already had a heart! I just wanted to listen to the heartbeat all afternoon! We got our first baby picture and I pinned about five of them all over the house.
As far as morning sickness goes, I guess I should consider myself pretty lucky...I get a "gaggy feeling" most of the time, like something is tickling the back of my tongue and I feel like my nose has super powers. Many smells bother me, I haven't had a sandwich since about June 29th because deli meat sounds and looks disgusting! My main favorite foods have been toast, bagels with cream cheese, cantaloupe, cheese and crackers, applesauce and apple juice.  Keeping my tummy full or at least content has been a challenge, especially because hardly anything sounds good and when it does sound good, I need it NOW! Alex has been so cooperative during this crazy time. He's willing to eat anything I want to eat, has gone as long as I have without morning coffee (I used to not be able to start my day with it, now it stinks!) and has been the housekeeper, cook and counselor. As soon as I am feeling better, can stand to look at raw meat and take the heat in the kitchen I am making him a wonderful dinner! You know me, I LOVE to cook and bake and now and then the thought and urge comes on but then quickly dissipates...Hopefully when the baking season hits I will be ready!
I have been EXTREMELY tired, more like EXHAUSTED! I normally would wake up around 7am, start my day (with that warm cup of coffee) run errands all over town and then work on household chores, now....ha! I can barely make my own breakfast and I'm lucky if I can complete one load of laundry! Forget grocery shopping, that gets done when Alex can go with me. After breakfast I'm ready for a nap! Really. Napping- never used to partake. Now I must or I am a grumpy zombie.
My emotions have been high, I try not to think too much about the future or how fast my baby will grow up because then I will ball my eyes out. I think about all the joys of becoming a mother, watching who our baby will be, what they will be interested in, who they will take after and it makes me cry. I want nothing but the best and everything for our little baby. It is so small now and has no sense of evil or sadness and I wish he/she could just stay that way. I know that could never be but I hope they experience as little as possible. I try hard not to cry or be sad because I know the baby can sense that already. I write letters to him/her a couple times a week and always promise to keep them protected. I already feel like a Mama Bear. I am already proud of him/her, for growing so strong, I can only imagine the pride I will feel for their 'firsts', school awards and other accomplishments.Sometimes I place my hand on my belly and wonder if he/she can sense my thoughts.
I have so many "can't waits" but really I can wait, I know time is going to fly by so I am cherishing every moment, even feeling like I'll never be normal again. I remember these are my first sacrifices for my baby! I would endure so much more if I knew he/she would benefit! It is worth it. I know Alex and I's life will never be the same but in the best way possible, I think. I know in about seven months I will be walking around waiting for him/her to fall asleep and I will probably be even more exhausted than I am now, but I will again try to cherish those moments.
Well, today has been such an amazing day that I will remember ALWAYS! Now, I think I will celebrate with the rest of my slice of Coconut Cream Pie.

6 weeks 5 days

11 weeks