Liam's Birth

8:45 am, Thursday, March 8^th  (one day past my due date) I went to a regular scheduled OB appointment in San Dimas. We saw a doctor I had never seen before and I was a little nervous…She examined me and said I still had time to go and that as a routine they have all mothers to be who are past their due date schedule a NST (non stress test) along with an ultrasound to make sure baby is doing well. So I thought ok, no big deal. We checked out and the nurse told us that Labor and Delivery in Baldwin Park would be waiting for us to do our test that morning. Again, I thought ok, no big deal, we’ll check out the baby and see if they can give us a better estimate on the arrival. So I called my mom and let her know what they said and we drove over to Baldwin Park. Alex asked if I wanted to get something to eat on the way over there because all I had had that morning was toast, knowing my appointment would be quick and we would run some errands after and grab breakfast. So we get to Baldwin Park, they check me in and I get hooked up to moniters and begin to wait. Baby’s heartbeat was great, my vitals were fine so then we waited for the Mid-Wife to come in and do the ultrasound. She does it, and says there is very little amniotic fluid surrounding the baby and that can cause problems with the umbilical cord getting compressed and also for the baby in general. Now, I start getting a little concerned. She gave me some water and juice and had me walk around for about half an hour to see if the fluid would replenish enough. If it did then great, I would be let go and probably checked again on Saturday; if not then they would admit me and I would be induced.  I thought for sure they would and thought it may have been low due to the fact that I hadn’t had a large breakfast or had much water that morning. So we come back, she does the ultrasound again and…NOPE, not enough fluid! “We’re keeping you and inducing you!” Alex and I looked at each other and thought HOLY COW! WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!!! 

Of course, we have known all along that we were going to have a baby but now it was really going to happen!!! Like today, maybe tomorrow! Alex was ecstatic and I was a nervous wreck! I kept thinking that because I was being induced, what if my body wasn’t ready yet and I was being forced to give birth; what if my body didn’t react well to the induction and I had to have a c-section, which I was terrified of! So many thoughts ran through my head! All along I had imagined my water conveniently breaking in the middle of the night, us rushing to the hospital and within the next few hours delivering our first baby. Again, what’s that saying, “if you wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans…” Especially with something like this!

So…we check in, I put on the hospital gown and they do a few procedures to get my cervix to begin to dilate. The mid-wife forewarned me that because I was being induced and it was my first delivery that it could take up to 12 hours to dilate to a 3, maybe 4. I though ok, well, then hopefully it will go pretty fast after that and we’ll have Baby O. Friday morning! Alex makes calls to our families and puts them on high alert for news about labor. There were other thoughts running through my head at the time too, dumb ones, like, ‘I didn’t get to vacuum the house one last time’, ‘there were still dishes in the sink’, ‘we had to go to Costco to get a few things’ most importantly, ‘ALL I HAD WAS TOAST THIS MORNING AND NOW I WASN’T GOING TO BE ABLE TO EAT TIL WHO KNOWS WHEN!’. I was so not prepared for this, even though I had been preparing for the last nine months. Luckily had had our hospital bags packed and ready for the last month and the car seat was in the car and ready.

4:30pm-ish, I am having mild contraction due to the medication they gave me. I had my iPod playing, Alex was helping me breath through the pains as I rocked in the rocking chair. My parents had let us know they would be stopping by the apartment around 6pm to check on Snickers and then be at the hospital around 7:30pm. At this point the contractions felt like very strong menstrual cramps and had no pattern or consistency at all. The doctors also had let me know that they wouldn’t even come to check how far I had dilated until 12 hours after I had the medication, so that would be around 2 or 3am. Also at this point I had not eaten anything except my toast and a turkey sandwich the hospital gave me around noon and Alex had eaten nothing all day, not even toast in the morning. I felt so bad and told him he could go get something in the cafeteria before it closed but he was such a trooper and stayed with me until my parents arrived, with food in tow for him.

My mom and Audra stayed with me while Alex ate and visited with my dad and Scott in the waiting room.  At this point it was pretty much a waiting game and I wouldn’t even have a clue as to where I stood until around 3am. My family stayed til around 10pm and then went back to our apartment to spend the night.

4am, Friday, March 9 – The doctor came in to check me and I was ‘only to about a 2 or 3!!! SERIOUS!?  is what I wanted to yell at them. They then decided that they would give me another dose of the medication to help my cervix to further dilate. So now I’m looking at another 12 hours of waiting! By now I was really getting discouraged and the idea of a c-section started to become more worrisome. I opted at this time to have a shot of pain medicine to help me through the contractions and also to help me sleep. It did wonders! I was finally a little more comfortable but still confined to the bed because of all the IV’s. On top of the contractions I had to be put on an antibiotic every 4 hours through the IV in my hand and every time they hooked up a bag it BURNED like fire from my elbow down for a good twenty minutes. I ended up icing my hand five minutes before they would hook up a new bag jus to numb it, so now I had that to look forward to every four hours. One of the nurses at some point changed the bag without me knowing and the burning woke me from my sleep and was terrible!

6:30am – A new doctor was on call and decided to remove the medication that had been placed for further dilation and wanted to start Pitocin. About an hour later another nurse came in and said I had seemed to be progressing on my own so they would let me go on my own for a while before starting the Pitocin. I thought, finally, I’m getting somewhere!

10am – My parents and Audra and Scott arrive again with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, they alternate the two people per room to give Alex a break and join us in the waiting game. By now I was at about a 4 I think, discouraging but at least it was a little further…This part is a little blurry to me. The day just seemed long, I did get another shot of pain medication to help me through the day. Clara arrived to join in the fun and ice chips were the most delicious thing on the planet by now.  A nurse  checked me around 2 or 3 in the afternoon and first said I was still at a 4 and I about died! Then a doctor came in and said no, I was more like a 5 and I thought, praise the Lord! Let’s keep trucking on!!! The baby still had not dropped though so we were still waiting on that.  They told me that at this point the contractions would become stronger because they were now going to put me Pitocin and that this was a great time to get the epidural if I wanted. I had originally thought I would be able to take on the birth minus the epidural plus I had fears of being numb and not being able to push, thus resulting in a c-section. The nurses told me how they can coach me through by watching my contractions on monitors and that I would still feel pressure so it shouldn’t be a problem. I was also scared of the pain of the epidural shot itself but I decided the pain I was about to experience was going to be much more intense then a one time shot.  So the anesthesiologist was called and the epidural was placed. It was not nearly as bad as I imagined. 

The numbing began immediately and my legs felt like they were heavily asleep. My legs never went numb, but my hips and lower back area were, which made it impossible to turn over in bed or even move around. This was very frustrating to me because I could not get comfortable in this bed which I had been laying for for the past 30 plus hours! The nurses had to turn me over every hour to make sure the epidural worked correctly and every hour I dreaded it. It was just so awkward and I never got comfortable. 

Saturday early morning was the really tough part. The epidural was on an “apply your own dose” thing, so I could pump up the amount every hour when I needed it. At first I was afraid to add any because I didn’t want to be more numb, but by 3 or 4am I was pumping it up to  my limit and a few times it got locked so I would be woken from my sleep with a terrible, awful,  STRONG contraction. Alex needed a break at this time so I called in Papa to help me through the really tough contractions and also the terrible pain of the penicillin in my IV.  Around 5 or 6am (I think) a doctor came in to check me and I was around an 8! Yayy! I was so thrilled…only to find out there could be one more problem. Apparently I have a odd shaped pelvic opening, almost like an octagon…and the baby’s head may not fit through, thus needing a c-section. They would be able to know though until I began pushing. So I was excited but nervous about going through the labor and then having to have a cesarean after all. So I tried to relex and sleep a little more…at 7:30am another doctor came in and checked me and said I was at a 10!!!!! WooHoo!!!! I made it! Now, had the baby dropped? Yes! She said I was +2 which meant the baby had dropped completely and I was ready to PUSH!!! Ahhh!!! I was gonna have a baby! The nurse said we would start pushing at 8am.

So I woke Alex up, he had been drifting off on and off during all this excitement! I said, “I’m at a 10!”

The nurse came in, started getting things ready and to my surprise and happiness, my own mid-wife, Diane Roberts was there to deliver “Baby O.” Around 8:15am I started pushing with every contraction. Bearing down and pushing as hard as I could. I had a lot of pressure to push and it felt after only three or four pushes that he was already half way out, but after looking in the mirror I knew I still had a long way to go. I could barely barely see the top of his head. One hour went by, then two and I was getting discouraged. Mama, Alex and the nurse coached me through every contraction and set of three pushes, told me I was doing great, but I didn’t feel so. Nothing was happening and it had already been so long! I thought I was never going to get this baby out. Then the thought of a c-section came into my head again. The contractions were so strong and at one point I remember telling Alex I was going to die and that this was the only baby we were going to have. On top of the pain I was really starting to feel the effects of not having eaten for over 48 hours. I was dying for Gatorade and something to eat. I kept thinking of getting to have something to drink once this was over, and of course holding my baby! Between every contraction I ate as much ice as I could to make me feel like I was getting something to eat. I felt so weak and dehydrated.  When Roberts came back from checking on other patients she did a few perineum massages and stretching to help Baby O. com out. That really seemed to help and since I couldn’t feel anything down there I was all for it. I just wanted the baby out already! A little more at a time I could see the head coming out and it gave me more encouragement.

After more pushing and everyone around me getting excited, Roberts said, “Ok, reach down, reach down, you’re going to help pull your baby out!” I was like, WHAT!? Holy cow! I reached down and pulled Liam up and out from under is little arms and put him on my chest. WHAT AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE!!!  I couldn’t believe he was HERE!!! After a bit of skin to skin time they whisked him away to bathe him and take his measurements.  He weighed 7lbs 5oz and was 20 inches long, apgar was 9.9 J As they cleaned me up Alex went out to the waiting room that had been occupied for the past 30+ hours and announced that we had a little BOY!!!

 

I remember my mom telling me that was an amazing experience to be there. After I got cleaned up and Liam got situated we had really quick visits with everyone just to see him. The nurses brought me lunch and some juice and Audra brought my so wanted Gatorade! haha! I sat and ate my lunch with Liam while Alex went to eat something with his parents. When he came back they moved us to the postpartum room on the other side of Labor and Delivery.

That night they gave Alex and I a special dinner for our new little family. It was so sweet and a little different version of the private dinner we had on our honeymoon, which brought a happy tear to my eye. We had sparkling cider, stuffed Cornish hen, rice and vegetables. Cheesecake for dessert and there was a rose on the table. It was so awesome! We were now a family! I remember at one point during labor I told Alex that this was the last child we would ever be having and whattya know, that night during dinner, I told him I couldn’t wait to have another baby.

Our first night with Liam was nerve racking for me. I was tired and concerned about him in his little crib. I just wanted to hold him all night but I didn’t think it was safe in the hospital bed. I kept trying to get up to check on him or asking Alex to. I was still so weak, sore and my legs were still wobbly from the epidural. At one point Liam was crying and crying and I thought to myself I should just let him cry so he doesn’t get used to getting picked up…but then I got up to check him and when I did I saw he had a dirty diaper and I felt so terrible that I had let him sit there and cry a good twenty minutes before checking on him. I wanted to cry.

As night turned to morning it was still surreal that we had a baby there of our own to take care of. Liam was scheduled for his circumcision Sunday morning and some routine pricks and pokes. Alex took him to his surgery and he said he recognized his cry when he was next and felt so terrible hearing him scream knowing what he was going through. When they brought him back I just wanted to cuddle him and kiss him.  Again, that night I kept watching him. Then finally I put him in bed with me to sleep. The nurses helped me fix the pillows to make it so he couldn’t fall off. The night turned into day and I’m sure I thought to myself several times, what are we going to do when we get home!?

Our last day at the hospital was bittersweet. I was so excited to go home and take care of him, introduce him to all the things we had prepared for him. I was also nervous about taking care of him and the drive home. We had breakfast that morning, waited for the discharge paperwork to be finished and prepared for our trip home with our bundle of absolute joy! Nurses came by to make to give us more paper work with information on how to take care of our newborn, no ‘how-to’ manual, but helpful information regarding signs to watch for if he were to get sick, etc. They also gave us a nice diaper bag and blanket as farewell gifts. We finished packing up our stuff and I couldn’t help but become a little emotional leaving the room. As excited as I was to be home, I was a little sad leaving our hospital room, strange I know, but I couldn’t help but to think it was where we spent our first few days as a family. We dressed Liam in his long awaited ‘going home outfit’. It was a white long sleeved onsie with grey dots that read, “The Best of Mom and Dad” on the front. 

The last nurse that visited called for my wheel chair to escort Liam and I out while Alex went down to the parking lot and awaited our arrival to the valet area. I bundled little Liam up and waited for my chair. When the man arrived I could feel the tears swelling behind my eyes. I held Liam tightly and took one last glance into the room. As he wheeled me down the hall, nurses congratulated us again and I had never felt more proud of myself then when I was leaving the labor and delivery ward. I felt like I was at the end of an amazing movie and the music was to be cued at any moment. As we went down the elevator and the doors opened to the main lobby of the hospital, the lobby where we had walked through many times for various appointments and classes I saw several other pregnant women at different stages of their pregnancy wandering through to their appointments and I just wanted to shout out to them that they were about to experience the most amazing experience of their lifetime. I felt so overwhelmed with JOY!  I wanted to show Liam to everyone that passed and say, “Look what we accomplished!” I cannot put into words the love and elation I felt. And as we approached the double doors exiting the building I saw Alex waiting for us, video camera in hand with his NEW DAD shirt on just smiling ear to ear. I began to cry tears of complete joy as I put my sunglasses on so no one would see me. I thought to myself, this journey is completed. I gave birth to our precious baby boy and now we embark on the next leg of the journey, raising him. Wow!

 

 

I will NEVER forget the joy I felt that day, those three days. The worry and concern and excitement all wrapped into one giant ball of emotion. It’s true what they say about the pain of labor being erased as soon as your baby is put into your arms. After being in the hospital for THREE DAYS I thought there is no way I will forget this discomfort. Well I don’t really remember it too clearly now. Of course I know there was a lot of pain and discomfort and I was quite uncomfortable for a week or so after but looking at Liam I am reminded of why I went through it and why I would do it all again in a flicker of a heartbeat for him or any one of my future children. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I felt more ‘motherly’, but when they laid him on my chest it was like a switch was flipped and I was crowned that ever important title, the most important title in the world, MOTHER.  

 I can’t explain the pride that I feel  of myself and my body for doing all that it did;  from the first little sonogram photo of Liam as long a pinto bean to my weekly fruit size relation update to a whole healthy beautiful baby.  He is EVERYTHING to Alex and I and I am so excited for the rest of our lives to watch him grow, mature and succeed.