Thursday, July 12, 2012

Three Years and Counting

Alex and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary yesterday. My parents came over and baby sat Liam while we went out for SUSHI! Finally! We had not had sushi in about a year! I couldn't eat it while I was pregnant and if I couldn't have it, Alex couldn't have it ;)
I was a little nervous about leaving Liam because he's been extremely fussy lately and very clingy to his Mama. I just didn't want him to give my parents a hard time. As we got ready to leave it felt a little weird to be leaving OUR baby with my parents while we went out. I remember being left with my grandparents when my parents went out like it was just the other day!
We got in the car and it really felt like a date. No crying baby and diaper bag, we were dressed up and I wasn't carrying a purse with everything in it but the kitchen sink. We laughed at funny things we saw along the way, like and Elvis impersonator in street clothes pumping gas and we were reminded of our love and attraction to each other. As we drove Alex put on a cd that I think I made him last year, maybe the year before...and the first two songs couldn't have been more perfect. The first, Wedding Cake by Connie Francis and the second, Our Day Will Come by Ruby and the Romantics. The whole cd was so meaningful.
This year has been the most joyful and the most difficult for Alex and I so far.
Alex has been out of work for nearly a year. He has been finishing up his BFA and has been searching for a job non-stop. So to say the least, this year has been financially and emotionally stressed. We've had to make a lot of changes, sacrifices and swallowed a lot of our pride this year, individually and as a couple. Not a day goes by that we don't hope that tomorrow will bring news of a job.
Most first years of marriages begin with a few normal stresses...adjustment to being with that person all the time, learning their idiosyncrasies, sharing finances, etc. Sometimes it seems ours is really being tested.
We've suffered family loss, financial stresses, continued education, had unexplained health issues, job losses and we miscarried our first pregnancy...all this, in the first three tender years of marriage. All of these situations have and continue to make us stronger together. When one of us is weak and succumbs to the stress and must just cry the other is there to pick us up again and dust us off and we keep going. Sometimes we just look at each and say, "REALLY!? Can something just go right for once!?" I know there are lots of people and families saying that more and more these days, but when we think this, we have to take a look and think of all the things that have gone amazingly right. There are so many people less fortunate than us, as hard as it is for us to believe sometimes, we hear their stories on the news or in passing and we have to remember how blessed we are with what we do have.
We have amazing families- parents, brothers and sister. They would never let us go hungry or homeless. We have a healthy, beautiful baby boy who is our greatest and most important thing in our lives, God's most precious blessing. We have each other, we can laugh and cry together, a blessing many people take for granted. So many times, we remember our vows, for better or worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health we stand by each other and love and support each other. That is what makes our marriage so wonderful. Hopefully were just getting that 'worse' part out of the way early ;p
Last night as we drove home from dinner I told Alex through a few happy tears that I loved him and thanked him for not giving up on me or on us, he said the same. I know there will be more difficult times, more wonderful times and I'm excited for them all so long as we are together.
So last night we celebrated us. All we have been through, all we're going through and looked ahead to all we'll go through, for better or worse. As Connie Francis sings, 'Yes, for all who will partake, It all comes with the wedding cake...'
True Love.

Salmon Hand Roll, oh, how I missed you!
The Wedding Cake
Don't be troubled 'bout me cause I'm tired
From workin' 'round the house
When day is done
Don't think you failed me cause you can't afford
That dishwasher to make my life more fun
You know, the measure of a man is
Much more than just the money he can make
And every woman knows a lot of joy and tears
Come with the wedding cake

The wedding cake is not all icing
And love and tender whispers in the dark
One slice is concern for all your dreams prayed
They won't come true and break your heart
Another slice is feedin' kids and wipin' noses
Cryin' when the doorbell rings and there are roses
Every woman knows a lot of give and take
Comes with the wedding cake

It's facin' shadows of the future
Prayin' they will fall away as we walk toward them
Searchin' for the sun
And it's long and anxious hours with the wolf at the door
Hugs and kisses when, at last, we see the dawn
So when the hands of time trace tellin' lines upon our face
And lace our hair with strands of gray
We laugh and say for all who will partake
It all comes with the wedding cake

Yes, for all who will partake
It all comes with the wedding cake
Yes, for all who will partake
It all comes with the wedding cake

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