Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Mama's Boy

I hear, "What a Mamas Boy..." about Liam every other day, from family, from strangers, from my mother in law...oh well. He is Mamas Boy and that's alright with me. Now granted, I don't want to still be doing his laundry when he's 40, but my heart won't mind a bit when he wants to come home for Mamas spaghetti, and if I'm completely honest with you, I may not mind if I'm still ironing his clothes at 40.
Obviously there's always been some negative connotation associated with the phrase, Mama's Boy. I've used it in that sense a couple times about ex-boyfriends, friends, my husband...haha. But now that I am a Mama to a son, I kind of understand. Even more so because I am a stay at home mom of a single, boy. We do everything together. He's by my side 24/7. He's my shopping buddy, my helper, my companion and friend. 99.9% of the time he chooses me over anyone else in the room. Sometimes that is stressful, but most of the time I am flattered. What it is to be someone who means so much to somebody. He is a little human that trusts me 110% and loves me for me. I know I'm not perfect but right now to him, I am. I struggle sometimes with doing things for myself because I never want Liam to feel I chose anything over him (or any other future children) I know one day he'll realize I'm human and I've made and will continue to make mistakes, but I always want him to be proud of who is mother is.
Sometimes I wonder if we had a girl, if she would be more attached to Alex or if it would be the same as it is with Liam. Maybe we'll find out one day. I know I'm pretty enamored with my father.
I try to fast forward to the day when Liam no longer wants me to kiss him goodbye at school, or when he goes to college, or when he gets married and my heart literally hurts at the thought. Again, not in the way that, I don't want to share him or for him to experience life, but in the way that my best friends is moving away. See, even now, I tearing up! Lord help me. You may ask, well what about your husband, your partner for life...yes, of course I love him with all my heart, I love his company and know he'll be there and we'll get to travel and do all that stuff your supposed to do when your kids are grown, but its just different, and you cant explain that to someone who is childless. And again, I wonder if I will feel this way with a girl, or if I only feel this way because Liam is my first born. Motherhood, Parenthood, I should say, is such a funny thing. You want so badly for your kids to live a wonderful life, be independent, travel the world and at the same time you want them to stay two years old and crawl onto your lap when they're sleepy.
I am so blessed that I have been able to be with Liam 24/7 for these last two, almost THREE years. I know that all this time with me has given him something irreplaceable by anything or anyone else. And even though (for now) it is a sacrifice of night out, or a day at the spa or new furniture or WHATEVER, I remind myself that I, nor no amount of money would ever be able to buy back what our little family has gained.
So with all of that being said, when someone says 'What a Mamas Boy', either about him or someone else, good for them. Don't see it as a sign of weakness or laziness. Would you rather hear they complain and tell a sad story of a drugged out mother? I'll now understand that that son probably loves his Mama to no end because he was there with her 24/7 for the first years of his life building forts, making him eat his vegetables, teaching him manners and being his biggest cheerleader in the game of life. And if he loves his Mama that much there's a good chance his Mama loves him doubly as much!