Thursday, October 28, 2010

This morning Alex was getting ready for a job fair and I went in to see how he was getting along with his hair, which is in need of a cut. (Always seems that an opportunity arrives when he needs a haircut, same for me I guess) Anyway, he was standing there in his slacks and a t-shirt and for a second I thought, he is a man. Not the Family Guy t-shirt wearing college guy I sometimes think of him as. In that moment he was a man preparing to go into the world and find a better job to support his family. I got kind of teary eyed and so proud when I saw him at this moment.
I remember many times seeing my dad at home in his undershirt and slacks eating dinner with us after work about to  help one of us finish a project or getting ready in the morning signing a permission slip to something. These are such heart warming memories for me. When I saw Alex this morning in that same family man attire I gained more respect for him as a man, more love for him as the man I am married to and more will to be as supportive to his decisions and sacrifices as his wife.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Change

HELLO! "It's been so long, so very long..." (Maureen O'Hara, Parent Trap 1961)

Why have I not been writing in my blog? Well....a few things-
     I got my wisdom teeth taken out which wasn't bad at all except for the weird side affect I got. Dizziness...awful. My mother and father had to come stay with me while Alex was working almost everyday of the week after my extractions and poor Alex had to deal with me when he got home...I don't know how or why it happened, but it did and I hope it never happens again. Not that I minded my parents and Alex taking care of me but I couldn't do ANYTHING! I tried different "Epley Maneuvers" hoping that would help if it was a slight case of vertigo from the drilling of the teeth and I tried sudafed in case it was a slight sinus infection...and one day after a morning if watching golf with my dad it was gone! I was SO ecstatic as was the rest of the family! I was finally able to get back to my old self...This dizzy spell came at an awful time because we were in the middle preparing for a garage sale and packing for our move...
    We moved to a much nicer, newer apartment in Claremont (it's actually Upland, but it's right near the colleges to I say Claremont). We LOVE it! It is SO much work to move, even just to move a two bedroom apartment. I can't imagine moving a whole house!
      Unfortunately with everything going on lately plus worrying about my back (which is still unsolved) my anxiety has returned with unpredictable panic attacks. This tends to happen every few years and the only reason I can come up with is that I am not good with change. Even when it's good. Plus with the added daily worry of whats going on with my back I can't help but to think the worst of situation and just constantly be concerned about my health and everyday life things. You would think by now after years of this I would be a pro at keeping it under control but I'm not. It's really hard to explain/describe if you've never experienced it and I could be here all day writing about it. If your wondering why I just don't take medication for it, well, one- I've tried many and the zombie-like side effects are not worth it to me and two- I feel I'm already taking enough medication for my back pain. I'm hoping with enough positive thinking, journaling and reassuring myself that I'm FINE it will just go away on its own as it has in the past. This isn't really an excuse for not writing, but its been preoccupying. Alex has been so wonderful through this. I don't know how many time he's heard me take a deep breath and say, "I'm so anxious right now!" He is so sympathetic and is always seeking ways to help me remain calm, even if it's just loading the dishwasher...he is my prince charming. I also am extremely thankful for my family. Knowing that there is always someone I can call to talk to or ask to come help me out when I'm not well is such a blessing.
      We just celebrated Alex's 32nd birthday last weekend so I had been busy planning and preparing. We had a great time, about three days of celebrating! His parents came to visit Friday, we had cake and presents Saturday, he went golfing Sunday and we went to Disneyland Monday (his actual birthday). Lucky guy. So now with Halloween three days away we have been finishing up our costumes and I am making a few crafty gifts for friends and family. Hopefully tomorrow I can get to the Pumpkin Swirl Brownies I have been meaning to make for pretty much all of October...



     I look forward a weekend full of cozy nights, comforting foods, scary movies and more memories. I wish you all a Happy Halloween and here's hoping you get more treats than tricks!