We're Having A Baby, My Baby and Me!

I cannot describe how excited I am! Alex and I found out we were expecting June 29th, I wrapped up the pregnancy test in long jewelry box and gave it Alex on his break at work. He was ecstatic and surely wore a huge smile all day. A loooong three and a half weeks later we had our first ultrasound along with blood tests and paperwork. I was so nervous at the first appointment, my blood pressure was unusually high and I was shaking. When the little bean came up on the monitor and we heard the whoosh whoosh of the heartbeat (169 bpm) I was put at ease and began to cry. It was so small yet already had a heart! I just wanted to listen to the heartbeat all afternoon! We got our first baby picture and I pinned about five of them all over the house.
As far as morning sickness goes, I guess I should consider myself pretty lucky...I get a "gaggy feeling" most of the time, like something is tickling the back of my tongue and I feel like my nose has super powers. Many smells bother me, I haven't had a sandwich since about June 29th because deli meat sounds and looks disgusting! My main favorite foods have been toast, bagels with cream cheese, cantaloupe, cheese and crackers, applesauce and apple juice.  Keeping my tummy full or at least content has been a challenge, especially because hardly anything sounds good and when it does sound good, I need it NOW! Alex has been so cooperative during this crazy time. He's willing to eat anything I want to eat, has gone as long as I have without morning coffee (I used to not be able to start my day with it, now it stinks!) and has been the housekeeper, cook and counselor. As soon as I am feeling better, can stand to look at raw meat and take the heat in the kitchen I am making him a wonderful dinner! You know me, I LOVE to cook and bake and now and then the thought and urge comes on but then quickly dissipates...Hopefully when the baking season hits I will be ready!
I have been EXTREMELY tired, more like EXHAUSTED! I normally would wake up around 7am, start my day (with that warm cup of coffee) run errands all over town and then work on household chores, now....ha! I can barely make my own breakfast and I'm lucky if I can complete one load of laundry! Forget grocery shopping, that gets done when Alex can go with me. After breakfast I'm ready for a nap! Really. Napping- never used to partake. Now I must or I am a grumpy zombie.
My emotions have been high, I try not to think too much about the future or how fast my baby will grow up because then I will ball my eyes out. I think about all the joys of becoming a mother, watching who our baby will be, what they will be interested in, who they will take after and it makes me cry. I want nothing but the best and everything for our little baby. It is so small now and has no sense of evil or sadness and I wish he/she could just stay that way. I know that could never be but I hope they experience as little as possible. I try hard not to cry or be sad because I know the baby can sense that already. I write letters to him/her a couple times a week and always promise to keep them protected. I already feel like a Mama Bear. I am already proud of him/her, for growing so strong, I can only imagine the pride I will feel for their 'firsts', school awards and other accomplishments.Sometimes I place my hand on my belly and wonder if he/she can sense my thoughts.
I have so many "can't waits" but really I can wait, I know time is going to fly by so I am cherishing every moment, even feeling like I'll never be normal again. I remember these are my first sacrifices for my baby! I would endure so much more if I knew he/she would benefit! It is worth it. I know Alex and I's life will never be the same but in the best way possible, I think. I know in about seven months I will be walking around waiting for him/her to fall asleep and I will probably be even more exhausted than I am now, but I will again try to cherish those moments.
Well, today has been such an amazing day that I will remember ALWAYS! Now, I think I will celebrate with the rest of my slice of Coconut Cream Pie.

6 weeks 5 days

11 weeks

2 Year Anniversary

Alex and I celebrated our two year anniversary today. Two years that have gone by too fast. Two years that have allowed us both to learn more about each other, to grow together and to love together. Again, this year has brought challenges, happiness and sadness but the important thing is that we got through all of it together and stronger at the end.
We celebrated today very simply because I was not feeling too well. Alex gave me two white roses in a bouquet of baby's breath and a very sweet card. He made me breakfast and we relaxed all morning and afternoon watching movies and playing games. For dinner we drove to Cheesecake Factory and got a couple pieces to take home and then dinner take-out from Macaroni Grill. We took Arrow Hwy. all the way to the mall just for the ride and listened to our Third Eye Blind CD. I couldn't help but feel such emotion for the day. I remembered our first "big date" to the Third Eye Blind concert in San Francisco in March '07 and how I felt that night. Nervous, excited, I felt like I was in a dream. It was such a fun night! One of my favorite bands, in San Francisco, one of my favorite cities with a date who treated me so well and whom I could tell cared so much for me so early on. Every song on their self titled CD makes me think of that concert. In fact I just looked it up on YouTube and found it. I know that Alex and I are in that crowd singing along. Our first date is somewhat preserved and I can't help but want to jump into the screen again and relive those feelings in real time again. Ahhh, such a great memory.
As we were on our drive tonight I couldn't help but think about how blessed I was to get everything I ever wanted when I least, and I mean least, expected it! I could have never dreamed that Alex and I would get married and go onto be what we are today. Our life isn't perfect and it's not all diamonds and jewels but it is worth so much more than that. I am so proud of us, so proud of our accomplishments and our love for each other.
So tonight as we celebrate with take-out and our favorite music I am reminded of how much I have to be thankful for, how much we have to be thankful for. We have so much ahead of us, our future is so bright and the best thing is knowing that even if there come a few dark days we will walk through them together, always.

Summer Lovin'

Great summer evening tonight. Nothing special, just Alex and I grabbin' a cone at Rite-Aid. Music playing on K-EARTH 101. Jackson 5 - Never Can Say Good-bye came on and we turned it up and enjoyed the summer breeze. You just have to sway with that song. For a few moments everything was perfect in the world. This is going to be a big year and we can't wait!


***Oh, and we saved a little dog on the way home!

Music is what feelings sound like.

Music has always been a big part of my soul. I can listen to and enjoy pretty much any kind of music and whats more, I can appreciate it. As a kid and teenager growing up I played clarinet and came to have a great appreciation for all things music. I enjoyed listening to whatever my parents were listening to with a sprinkling of what was popular for my own age group. Recently I was visiting my parents on a day that had been particularly rough on me and that evening I sat and watched three DVD concerts with my parents, The Bee Gees, Christ Botti and Neil Young. I didn't really know to many Neil Young songs, in fact I really only knew Heart of Gold and now I love all of them. Now the songs have a precious memory attached to it. A day that started off not so great turned into an evening I will never forget. Young sang about memories and life; you could see in his expressions his feelings.
All the music that means so much to me is attached to some feeling or memory, good or bad they're there. Sometimes the song can bring back a feeling you haven't felt in years and some songs can completely turn the day around (Michael Franks - Antonio's Song, just makes you feel like melting into a vodka tonic and a poolside chair).
I remember being very broken hearted in high school, probably about a boy, probably Alex, and my Papa said, "I know it seems like every sad song on the radio is being played for you, and that just means that other people have felt the way you do." I always remembered that. Music and lyrics are like a quick trip down memory lane for your heart.
Music can also stop the hands of time, again, your right back in a certain place, a certain time. The Leonardo DiCaprio/Claire Danes version of Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack can take me right back to Alex and I's first date at the Mission Inn, Des'ree - Kissing You from that same soundtrack also takes me to the Sacramento Airport waiting for my flight back to Ontario after my first visit there to visit him. I can close my eyes and remember looking at my carry on, seeing the now, dehydrated roses, he brought me when he greeted me and feeling such a mix of emotions. I could cry tears of happiness now just thinking of it.
There are songs that I remember listening to over and over and over again because it was the only way I could hear CLEARLY what I was feeling (Alanis Morissette - That Particular Time)
There are songs that remind me of a carefree time in my life, no serious concerns and feeling like nothing could go wrong. (Kenny Chesney - She's From Boston, Young, Summertime)
There are even old songs that have so much meaning to me now (Connie Francis - Wedding Cake) Knowing that through the years people have felt the same way and that some things don't change and that's ok! That's life, 'que sera sera'!
I could go on and list hundreds of songs along with a memory or feeling.
So, tonight I looked up Neil Young on You Tube and came upon some of his performances from the early 70's. He sounds the same, but of course look older, his expressions are the same 40 years later. I bet he sees himself in '71 and feels a lot of those same feelings he felt then. I bet he knows that feeling of being transported through notes and lyrics. Now, his songs will always remind me of my father and that evening we spent watching him sing.
When I get old I just want to sit and listen to my iPod and remember my life.

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. ~Author Unknown

Having sisters is such a blessing.


Last night was my father's birthday and we all got together to celebrate with him. After the party had died down a bit we all snuck away to Clara's 'music room' and sang some songs while Clara played her guitar. She has taught herself how to play and read chords; we are very proud of her.

Recently there have been a few little quarrels and disagreements between a couple of us and sometimes all four of us, well our whole life we've had quarrels, we're sisters! Haven't you heard that quote, "If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." ~Linda Sunshine (or maybe you had a brother) But last night during that half an hour of sister time everything was perfect as it should be with sisters. We laughed and joked with each other and acted like little girls again. Amanda's son, Nathan, was in the room with us for a little while and it was such a joy to watch him watch his Mama sing like she did when she was a little girl. He loves music too; he must have inherited that gene. He swayed and bounced around as we all tried to do our best impression of Ingrid Michelson.

Its evenings like this one that I feel so incredibly blessed to have three best friends that will always be there and who know that I will always be there for them.

How do people make it through life without a sister? ~Sara Corpening

'Give a little whistle'........or phone call........

My parents have been gone on vacation for the past five days and won't be back for another five days. I can't tell you how many times I have had to remind myself that they are 'unavailable'. I can call them, but #1 - I wouldn't want to bug them on their trip with my everyday boring questions and #2 - it's expensive to call international. Over the last five days I have realized how much I depend on my parents opinions and how much their advice influences decisions we make. I realized how much I consider my mother to be one of my best friends. How I missed being able to call her and tell her about something cool I found at Marshall's! And this has just been five days!

Alex and I have had some pretty important decisions to make this week about his college education and work. Today we had to come to a conclusion and make a decision that would affect the next few years of our life and while we sat their contemplating our options, I wanted to call my dad. I wanted to tell him our options and see what he thought. I think he would agree with our decision but I wanted to confirm my choice with him; not to get his approval but to get my own approval!I know that he would have just the thing to say to make both of us feel that much more at ease about the road we are choosing.

This 'real adult decision' Alex and I discussed today made me feel like a real married couple. A full circle moment. We talked out our choices, made a pro/con list, I told him I would support him in whatever he decided but I also felt comfortable to tell him my opinion. For a moment after we made our choice I think we both felt that, 'I hope we're making the right decision' feeling, but really, I think we did. It was kind of like a moment when your 16 and you're parents say you can't do something and you think (or say), "I'm 16 I can make my own decisions!" Only now, we really can....and now we have 30+ years to back up our decision and yet somehow now that doesn't seem like enough.

I feel my input into the discussion came from what I've learned from my dad. Again, I wanted to call him and ask him....in fact I almost did, I figured this was a big thing, I super value his opinion and I had to make sure we considered all aspects! But I didn't. I told myself that this is one of those times where we will have to use our best judgment. We had to 'let our conscious be our guide' so to speak. So I put my phone away.

I'm sure my parents would be proud and happy to know that we need them so much still. At least I hope they will be...It's true no matter how old you get you still need your parents. You need their love, their support and their wisdom when you sometimes doubt your own. I guess that's one of the most sought after result in parenting, that children be able to make their own decisions, based on what their parents taught them and the morals and values exemplified and instilled by them.

Faith has also been ever so present at this time in our marriage and lives together. Another lesson passed down from our parents and grandparents. God will guide us, He is present in our lives and hears all our prayers. That is all we can do, put our faith in Him and He will guide us.

I can only hope that one day our children will feel the same way we do about our parents. I hope they value our opinion, seek our advice and know that God will guide them.

proud parents

proud children

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.  

~Robert Fulghum

Goin' to the Chapel in Vintage Red & Blue

Recently I had the privilege of making some personalized bridal shower supplies for an old friend and a shower she was hosting! She contacted me to make a banner for the bride-to-be featuring their initials and wedding date, along with cupcake picks and tags for shower favors. I had so much fun designing the items and working with these colors! Here are some pictures to enjoy.
If you are interested in ordering some items for your special event, please contact me via e-mail at badame1225@yahoo.com. Thank you!

Thank you again Katie for the opportunity!

"You Have My Heart" - Cupcake Picks

Personalizes Favor Tags

The banner featured quotes on marriage, heart die-cuts, eight different prints and patterns in coordinating wedding colors and vintage boy and girl profile die-cuts. Total of 11 panels measuring 5"x7" each.

Ready to ship out!